Being accepted by the herd

The human race are a funny lot. On one hand, they promote acceptance (or, dare I say it, tolerance) of every race or creed but, on the other, there is an invisible language that every person perceives and conforms to with the hope of being accepted by society's unwritten laws.

Here I am sitting in a cafe watching an 'informal' interview process where a woman feigns interest and has obviously modified her diction and appearance to suit her possible employer's expectations.  It amuses me that we have to go through this masquerade for a few short hours just to revert back to our old selves. That's not to say that you can't remain professional; just that the interviewer doesn't really get a true sense of who you are - unless they are able to look past the slick facade before them. Wouldn't it be nice if you were chosen on what you bring to the table rather than how you choose to convey yourself?

I could almost say the same thing when it comes to buying cars. I've recently been on the hunt for a manual (that is, 'stick shift') mode of transport and was amused that the main factor that governs the price of used vehicles is mileage. Yes, it is true that vehicles that have covered large numbers of miles are probably going to break down a little more regularly than a less-travelled version of the same car but surely that's not all that should be taken into account. A car that has been maintained and driven nicely (and is from a solid manufacturer) will fare far better than a car with half the miles that has been thrashed or is from an unreliable manufacturer. The car I finally decided to purchase was neither the prettiest car nor the one with the fewest miles. It was dirty, had a healthy collection of dust ... and yet started first time, the transmission worked great and it ran perfectly. When I came by for final settlement - I had a fairy-tale moment - for what once had been merely perfunctory, had now turned into a (relatively) beautiful swan after some detailing and minor touch-ups. I honestly did a double-take when I first saw it ... and yet it was still the same car under all that new-found prettiness. What I saw now simply solidified my view that I had made the right choice all along - not that it might still prove to be a lemon in the near future; but I digress ...

And so, as with most things, not everything can be measured by looking at the cold hard numbers, so don't just rely upon the facts presented before you to measure your future employee's worth ...  or your possible mode of transport.

You were so nice when I first met you

Why, hello there Democracy, my old friend. I remember how personable and well-meaning you were when I first happened upon your presence. I know when you were first conceived that you were the darling of the circuit with many Countries soliciting and marketing your influence as the second coming. They spurred us on with promises of 'halcyon days' and 'every person has a voice.'  Little did they realise that all this picketing and spruiking would also attract those with less than the best of intentions. And this was the beginning of your downfall. That is, you are only as good as those you choose to associate with and, unfortunately, you chose to associate with those who have yet to comprehend the concept of ethics and only know greed. If only humans were at an evolutionary stage where they would naturally choose for the benefit of those around them.

Sure, your sleek promises and altruistic heart counts for a lot but, when you open your mouth and only garbled Satanic noises come out, I find it hard to go back to first impressions. Even if there are people who still attempt to prop up your downward spiral, there are far too many in the game just as willing to hinder any progress while remaining staunchly aligned with the questionable affiliations of their generous party contributors. The poor situation occurring in the US is a prime indication of how your endeavours can be distorted by greed and those with ulterior motives.

Herein lies your weakness. 

Who is to say that your lesser cousin, Dictatorship, is so bad? Sure, he can be quite evil a lot of the time and even though his track record is far from stellar, who is to say that one altruistic (and more-than-likely martyred) individual couldn't rule by force for the benefit of his/her fellow man? I would bet that this individual wouldn't last too long in this world if the organisations who ruled you had anything to do with it ... but think of what kind of affect an altruistic Dictatorship would have.  Isn't that something worth striving for? Sure, we would still need state/province representatives but The Martyr (as I will choose to refer to him/her) would have the ability to overrule any task that was deemed not for the benefit of the general public. Maybe I do not see the pitfalls of this path but if that person is truly for the people, then I don't see the harm. Am I looking at this too simplistically? Maybe. But all I know is what a lot of countries have now is not working.

Say yes to logic

I recently have been subjected to watching inane shows like 'Say Yes to the Dress'. And this show could not be any less ... engaging. Maybe my queer eye is playing tricks on me but almost every dress looks somewhere between garish and tasteless. Yes, if I am forced to endure the contents of this show, I at least make the effort to critique their fashion missteps. And then comes the price.

Twenty-six THOUSAND (or more) for a wedding dress? That seems like a sound investment. In what reality does that make any semblance of common sense? I can understand spending maybe a few thousand which, even then makes my skin crawl, but spending the price of a car on a dress you wear once is just silly. If you have millions of dollars in the bank account then *possibly* that is alright but, if you're like most of the general population, that is a lot of money. When did marriage become about the spectacle and living out your princess fantasies? At what point does reality rear its ugly head to your idealisms? At what point do you think, no, I won't put our relationship in a financial hole that my parents or bank will need to fill? I would hope the answer would be never but who am I to question what the princess wants? 

It looks like she had a wardrobe malfunction (and it cost 1.5 mill)

Oh, and then there's another offshoot of this show called 'I found the gown.'  But I think they haven't gone far enough. I've got another concept that should broaden their audience: "I found twenty-six thousand dollars in my pocket (that I didn't spend on a wedding dress)." Well, at least the groom and parents would appreciate it.

Nail on the head

I just read this article about the principles of making your novel compelling and I could not agree more. For those too lazy to follow the link, I will emphasise and reiterate what every good novel should contain:

1. A good hook - if the story doesn't grab you from page one, you're doing it wrong.
2. A strong voice - if the voice of the novel has its own style, you're half-way there to an interesting read
3. A good/interesting story - that should go without saying
4. Compelling characters - strong, relateable and believable characters (not just 16 year-olds with strong desires for centenarian vampires)
5. Commentary on the human condition - something that resonates with the reader

Maybe I have rose-coloured glasses on but I know I followed those principles when writing my novel (even if I didn't know them at the time). Feel free to disagree, though, as that's what makes us human after all :)

The art of blurb

The blurb, or selling point: there is a dark art to giving enough to entice a prospective reader while not laying out the whole story in the process. A lot of authors I see write too much or miss the point of what a blurb should be. To help my fellow authors I shall now divulge the rules I follow when writing a blurb:

1. What is it about?
   Set the scene - who is the protagonist, what is the tone or gist of the story.
2. Why should I read it?
   Give a hook as to why the reader cannot pass up the chance to read it.
3. What makes it unique?
   What makes it unique from all the other vampire stories (say).
4. Why should I read more?
   Provide some unanswered questions that would compel the reader to want to discover more.

The other point is it needs to be punchy and to the point. This is not a prologue so don't treat it like one.

To drum in the points, I'll blurbify a few well-known classics:

Spongebob Squarepants:

(1 & 3)His pants may be square and even though he lives at the bottom of the sea and his friend may be a star, his life is far from ordinary. (3)Even if his viscous and porous yellow body has no need for Krabby Patties, he follows his dream to be the world's best fry cook. (2)With the help of Squidward and Mr Krabs, they have been able to stop Plankton's desires to gain the secret of the Krabby Patty ... up until now. (4) Will he be able to thwart Plankton's nefarious plan and will he be able to save the beautiful surface-dweller named Sandy?

Aliens (the film):

(1)Ripley wakes with a dull ache - her head throbs; disoriented with the familiar after-effect of an extended hyper-sleep. (2) Her mind is still clouded with thoughts of the alien; one alien deadly enough to end her crew within 24 hours. (3) In the years it took for her escape pod to be rescued, colonists had been sent to LV-426 to begin terra-forming. The only problem is they have lost contact. With a hardened military troupe and Ripley on point as a 'subject-matter expert,' she will have to return to the planet where it all began.  (4) No matter the weaponry, she knows it won't make a difference against them but she has unfinished business: she needs to kill her nightmare.

I'll leave it there, but that should give a good basis for any blurb. Blurb and be well.