Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I have radio tourettes

It seems I'm a little hung up on censorship, so bear with me ...

Now, I enjoy Rage Against the Machine tracks as much as the next man - especially if I get the full (or non-neutered) version. Since moving to a region that is affectionately referred to as the Bible belt (Missouri / Kansas), I've noticed an increase in the number of Christian radio channels as well as words I would not have thought needed censoring. Case in point: apparently 'sex' is a word requiring censorship although I'm not sure why ...


I'll be happily listening to Bruno Mars' blue-balled rendition of Locked Out of Heaven up until the point where 'Your ____ takes me to paradise; your ____ takes me to paradise.' It incenses me to such a degree that I involuntarily blurt out 'SEX!' every point where the word would have been. It can be a little weird if I'm driving along with others or have the windows open at the traffic lights but I think I have a valid reason to do so. 

Other examples:
I listened to 'Teenage Dirt Bag' and apparently 'Her boyfriend's a ____ ' required censorship. I listened to Everlast's 'What It's Like' and if the radio was the only source of this song, I would never know what 'He pulled out his ____ and wound up dead.' meant. What was it? His schlong? His middle finger? His High School Diploma? And so, I don't mind censorship for a valid reason but Sex is not a dirty word. Still, the impetus to de-censor the censoring might still come with the proviso that the cops are not within earshot; especially if I'm filling in the blanks to '____ Da Police' by NWA.

Off topic ever-so-slightly: I went to Kroger and the contraceptive section had been rebranded as 'Family Planning' as in I'm planning not to have a family any time soon. Need I say more?