Monday, August 28, 2017

I think I know why

I think I've cracked why I hate new movies so much.

It's all comes down to a sense of perspective in the end. I came to this realisation while watching the original remastered Star Trek series. It's wonderfully schlocky, (by today's perspective) misogynist, and yet, I was enthralled. How could that be? Well, it comes down to the wonders of imagination, characters, heady subjects, strong plots and competent and logical progression. Spock would be pleased. It was not because I was captivated by the set design - although it does still hold up surprisingly well - it was because they had well-realised and starkly individualised characters. I would think that if Bones were to be cast today he would be as a 20-something ex Days Of Our Lives automaton who was vetoed for his sex appeal rather than as the best choice for the role. I don't think even Leonard Nimoy would be spared. And herein lies the problem.

Where once we had characters, actors and stories at the forefront of the directors and producer's list, they now focus on CGI, mass-market appeal and a movie which is more geared towards making a good trailer than a story we care about. Even fairly gifted directors like Ridley Scott have not yet realised this lesson - even though he has had more than enough time to do so. He still puts out pretty amazing-looking trailers ... but pretty poor films which most people hate due to their lack of coherent plot, believable characters or a film which makes any sense in the end. Unfortunately I don't think this current trend is going to subside any time soon, so all we can do now is simply look to the past for solace and remember a time when stories, characters and plot were still revered. It could quite be that movies of yore were forced to do this simply because they couldn't use the visual spectacle to curtail our ability to identify a stupid plot or poorly-realised characters.

So, given what we have learned, directors could simply drop the production value so we can forgive their failures as writers - or at least give a passing grade. And this is why The Room is so good ... because it's so bad. You have your out, Hollywood. I've given you a way of even further maximising your ROI, eh?

Monday, August 21, 2017

Hollowness incorporated

I'm not quite sure how Rogue One got it so wrong. Somehow they made an action film which caused me to seriously question why I had ever been born. When the most charismatic character in the show is a flagrantly gay and sarcastic robot, you know there are problems. The main character is played by 'Soup strainer' as I like to refer to her; an English actress with the most unfortunate set of teeth. She puts the yundun yook girl to shame, much to Mick Jagger's daughter's chagrin.

Image result for rogue one meme

Then we have a collection of nondescript characters, Asian actors (for the sole purpose of marketing in China), a boring plotline (which we already know the punchline) ... and AT-ST's!!! Everyone has a dead expression, with no personality and no sense of urgency to any of their actions. The video review for the previous link (once you get past the bludgeoned joke introduction) aligns horribly well with my views. Where they give it an ehhh, I give it a do not watch. You should not watch this and your life will be all the better for it. In comparison to The Force Awakens, this is terrible. In hindsight I'd rather watch a horrible clone of A New Hope many times over. Now we have the wonderful cash grab Star Wars expansion of the new Adventures of Han Solo which has all signs pointing to it being a great success. I have to wonder what Disney is getting out of this enterprise (outside of money). At what point do they as a company question whether what they are doing is truly of benefit to the general public. At this point all I want Disney to do is bankrupt themselves and all this film ends up doing is making me regret that this franchise was ever created.