Harrison Ford has lived too long

For any original Star Wars fan, they will be undoubtedly aware of Carrie Fisher's (nee Princess Leia) passing. Unfortunately this was not enough to thwart the release of The Force Awakens but, at least, we won't be having her cameo in any future films, will we? 

Computer graphics have yet to surpass the Uncanny Valley

I stand corrected. Unfortunately I can categorically declare that Harrison has lived too long. We have been subjected to a rehash of his role in Indiana Jones (the horror), The Force Awakens (such pretty horror) and apparently we will soon be subjected to a disappointing rendition of an aging blade-runner attempting to interact coherently alongside the talented Ryan Gosling's antics. One would expect Gosling to play out the role as an emotionless rendition of a blade-runner from Brooklyn. 

Trey Parker is a goddamn soothsayer by this point. It's not that I don't want to have Harrison Ford acting - I just don't want him raping the good will of the films that had made him successful in the first place. Apparently I am in the minority on this as I haven't yet noted the expected droves of people shrieking in horror at the announcement / release of these films. Even if I have the tiniest of inclinations to see these abortive cash-ins, I cannot rightly support this. We are all dumber for wanting to watch or, dare I say it, enjoy them. I watched The Force Awakens (for free) recently and even with a steady stream of Rum flowing through my veins I was unable to extract any enjoyment from the experience. The film was a hollow facsimile of A New Hope with a story which held no gravitas or emotional weight. At this point I liken Star Wars to the abusive husband who promises not to hit you but still does.

Review: Avatar

I know it's a few years since Avatar was released, but I couldn't resist :)

So I was watching Southpark a few weeks back and this episode came on. It basically revolves around Cartman doing the morning announcements and having a personal vendetta against Wendy, who is the student body president. In his desire to put her in disrepute, his personal smears quickly escalate to the point where he accuses her of killing Smurfs in her desire to harvest the valuable smurfberries. This culminates in him creating 'actual video footage' of her killing them after he has been accepted as one of the Smurfs into their society.

You must be wondering what this has to do with James Cameron's Avatar. All I have to say is: Dances with Smurfs.

Yes. So the film that originally began life as Pocahontas, then became Dances with Wolves, then became Avatar (and possibly The Last Samurai). None of these are particularly good stories and none of them were particularly interesting to watch. And Avatar doesn't do anything to change my opinion of this 'enduring' theme.

Just like all its predecessors, it starts off with an outsider attempting to assimilate with the locals. In this case giant blue aliens that take on a distinctly African/Native-American flavour to their cultural heritage.  Of course these aliens are acted out by African/Native-American folk because a white person would just not be able to convey the 'alienness' of this alien culture. Cue the racism card, BUT, it is just a yellow card for subversive association. Nicely played Mr Cameron.

Anyway, American guy (common theme) gets accepted as one of the tribe and then turns against the people that gave him his original mission (to infiltrate and gain the alien's trust). *snore*

Oh, and it was also in THREE-DEE. Amazing graphics for a boring film. I still liked parts of it but I couldn't get over the story, as a lot of us couldn't (Trey Parker / Matt Stone). I think the best thing to come out of this film was the Southpark episode. Oh, and having his ex-wife win a slurry of Oscars (including best director) for her film The Hurt Locker. Burn!

Personally, I think it's just desserts for the director that made the teeth-grinding Titanic. Who's the king now?