Thought police on patrol

I now turn my focus towards political correctness ... or, as I like to call it, bloody stupid people expressing their discontent for anything they deem sensitive toward some under-represented minority group.

Now, I'm sure I've riled some person with my use of bloody (you offended those with anemia or those presently suffering from stab wounds), stupid (you offended me or those of us unable to think for themselves) and people (you offended those who choose not to identify as a people even though they are presently bloodied and stupid) - but that is my point. You should not have to second-guess every word you utter (or write) just so you don't put someone's sensitivities ever-so-slightly askew. That is not to say that you should be given carte blanche and allow every hate-speech monger their moment in the sun; just that you could take a moment not to get riled up if I say 'all hippopotamuses are ugly.' In the end it's just one opinion amongst a sea of seven billion. My perspective does not represent the collective perspective but it is still valuable as it is my own which was formed within the dwellings of my mind - now back to the task at hand:

Political Correctness is a doctrine enforced by a minority for the sake of their own flagellation. We are steadily moving towards an Orwellian state which may not be ruled by force but by being publicly vilified for not towing the line of a steadily double-speak language. I've already noticed untruths being thrown into conversation and a far-too-long bow being drawn on irrelevant things (personally I still think Capcom should posthumously be held accountable, those philistines). It is becoming quite ridiculous. In a not-so-distant future our current speak would be translated into something like this:

'All-entities-are-perfect-in-their-own-way (unless said entity wishes to conform to no known measure, in which case, simply referred to as a non-deceased entity)'

- oh wait - that would mean that deceased entities are now ignored. Let's try that again ... 

'Entities/non-entities-deemed-undiscriminated / ungendered / pertinent / impertinent / undetermined / unable-to-be (but perfectly capable of being)-categorised access way'

or Manhole. 

'Possible cancer causing (not that cancer is something which should be deemed bad for those who presently have it), pregnancy (although being able to create a child within your womb is an amazing thing, this does not mean that those who do not have wombs nor are associated with the female gender should be deemed inferior to those who are)-aborting (we do not condone in any way whether to or not to abort your unborn person-who-is-perfect-in-all-ways-but-not-to-the-point-of-alienating-any-other-person-who-is-deemed-inferior-due-to-having-something-other-than-that-which-said-original-person-has nor do we believe we have the right to provide a perspective on whether it is truly correct - or incorrect - (or possibly some limbo state) as to whether we deem the whole process of a woman's right to choose whether they retain their unborn individual should be that of the ...

I'm tired. 

I was attempting to write the PC-edition of a warning label on a packet of cigarettes. But, for the record, not all hippopotamuses are ugly:

Dare I say it, they are cute.

Nobody likes good news

It is now time, my friends, to reflect and introspect upon how you and I feel about the news spoon-fed into our quivering brains. To that point, I've made a conscious effort to try and not listen to news and adverts. Mostly because they almost invariably come at a hidden cost upon my reception.

It should not come as any surprise that all news broadcasts focus solely on the negative, hate-laden and fear-inducing aspects of every-day life. It's enough for anyone to consider punching out rather than enduring the never-ending negative rhetoric. And there does seem to be data to back up this disturbing thought. It is a sad state of affairs that I have to turtle my knowledge of world events merely because the powers that be choose to inflict me with messages of fear, hatred and intolerance. Even if they happen to have a piece on improving the world in some way, they still need to placate both sides by getting a cretinous representative to try and explain why we should be (as an example) intolerant of anyone not 'murican enough.

I hate that I am forced to be ignorant of the daily goings-on ... but they have forced me into this position. And we are all to blame for this. If everyone, as a whole, were to turn off the news and no longer read the news sites. The industry would take notice. They would no longer be able to peddle their agenda-laden messages and would be forced to provide a message which truly spoke to the people. We would make the world a better place simply by doing nothing, watching nothing and buying nothing (the simplest kind of revolution). The powers who control this information would be forced to bend to the common man's will and we as a global population would regain our control and, best of all, this would all be performed through non-violent means. A deafening silence would be heard by simply turning back to a time where we did not have internet, TV, smart phones or radio.

If you think about it, this would mean that we would no longer be

• ruled by fear
• envious of those with product X+1
• cognizant of various wars or terrorist attacks
• fixated on social media
• a slave to our phones
• fixated on vanity photos
• fixated on plastic celebrities
• bent to the will of public media

But we would be

• able to make our own decisions on what we truly want
• focussed on living our lives
• content with living our lives
• centred around human interaction
• content with what we have rather than what we're told to love and desire

Naturally, this is a gross over-simplification ... but I do think I have a point. Maybe we would still need some kind of PA system for storm warnings but our lives would be more content simply because we would be focused on bettering our lives rather than fixating on things outside of our control. Maybe through this inaction they would finally have to step out of the shadows. All I know is that you rule the masses through fear ... and that is currently what we have: Fear, Hatred and Intolerance.

Something something dark side

So, it has come to my attention that Australia (where I formerly lived) is doing their best little brother impression of the US. It has got to the point where they are not content in simply replicating American culture or implementing favourable US sanctions. They have now turned their attention to raising the price of education and privatising health care. In the words of my favourite meme:

But, really, it is. For those who have read 1984, you would know that the best way to control the general public is by ensuring that they are permanently in debt. Having a mandatory private healthcare system and an overbearingly expensive education system (which was once free just a few decades back) would ensure that the average 20-something would have a prohibitive debt right out of university. They would be paying that debt for at least the next 10 years (on average) and would basically result in more taxes against the average Australian. All I can say is I'm happy I'm no longer in Australia.

I have radio tourettes

It seems I'm a little hung up on censorship, so bear with me ...

Now, I enjoy Rage Against the Machine tracks as much as the next man - especially if I get the full (or non-neutered) version. Since moving to a region which is affectionately referred to as the Bible belt (Missouri / Kansas), I've noticed an increase in the number of Christian radio channels as well as words I would not have thought needed censoring. Case in point: apparently 'sex' is a word requiring censorship although I'm not sure why ...

I'll be happily listening to Bruno Mars' blue-balled rendition of Locked Out of Heaven up until the point where 'Your ____ takes me to paradise; your ____ takes me to paradise.' It incenses me to such a degree that I involuntarily blurt out 'SEX!' every point where the word would have been. It can be a little weird if I'm driving along with others or have the windows open at the traffic lights but I think I have a valid reason to do so. 

Other examples:

I listened to 'Teenage Dirt Bag' and apparently 'Her boyfriend's a ____ ' required censorship. I listened to Everlast's 'What It's Like' and if the radio was the only source of this song, I would never know what 'He pulled out his ____ and wound up dead.' meant. What was it? His schlong? His middle finger? His High School Diploma? And so, I don't mind censorship for a valid reason but Sex is not a dirty word. Still, the impetus to de-censor the censoring might still come with the proviso that the cops are not within earshot; especially if I'm filling in the blanks to '____ Da Police' by NWA.

Off topic ever-so-slightly: I went to Kroger and the contraceptive section had been rebranded as 'Family Planning' as in I'm planning not to have a family any time soon. Need I say more?

Is it any surprise?

For those of us who have been living under a rock, apparently the US government really wants to get to know you on a personal level. Of course, a government cannot simply invite themselves over for tea without the appropriate introductions. And so, as any desperate unloved individual would, they go through our garbage, break into our houses and rummage through our personal effects. That's the logical thing to do, isn't it? Right?

I cannot blame them. As international government bodies go, they're like the crazed and brash individual you might meet at an open house party who blurts out to anyone within earshot that they're morally grounded while aiming their gun at slow-moving children. Maybe I'm being a little harsh but their modern revisions to international policy have left a lot to be desired. Where was I? Oh, yes. And so, I come to the shock-horror moment: it was leaked that the NSA has been extracting and parsing personal information from Google, Facebook, Yahoo (and even Bing) for the past few years. This is, of course, all under the pretense of protecting you from all those evil-doers and members who make up the coalition of the unwilling.

I really hope this did not come as a shock to you. In the world of all-encompassing connectedness, the diminutive impact of our activities on the 'net have all been categorised as "pertinent" to the various organisations wishing to glean whether we're, like, into Justin Bieber or into into Justin Bieber. For the record, I'm very not into the Biebster, Mr Shambling Corporate Presence. I guess this is also the only way that they can truly know whether the Teletubbies have finally reached the point where only I am exercising my right to momentarily halt their movement over the cliff of irrelevance; or even whether the latest in breaded lolcat imagery is fully reaching its potential target audience. Consider for a moment that the government's super computers are trawling through pages dedicated to breaded cats. It makes me smile for a moment ... even if they also have access to highly sensitive information that no one should have ever witnessed in the first place. I am, of course, talking about those awkward hobbledehoy images which chronicled your teenage years. I've always posted under the expectation that some organisation would be reading this. I guess I should feel privileged that I made the cut ... and you should too. Now, I think it best if we all sit in a circle, rocking slowly in a foetal position, as we embrace the death of our privacy.

Happy happy

I'm tired of excited by technology attempting to censor helping me enlighten my diction. When I use swipe, my phone surreptitiously attempts to clean up wondrously corrects my use of darns whoopees and drats wonderfuls. It is fudging annoying. I am not a child and I should not be treated like one. If I want something a little more caliente interesting than a "darnwhoopee" it should be within my ability to express myself that way without having to resort to manually typing it in for google to enlighten me. 

It is a little Orwellian brilliant to think that my device would have has the power good sense to control my self expression correct my incorrections. I can picture a not-too-distant future would love a world where all my communication is auto-corrected and censored perfect. Soon all negative positive terms will be stricken from our diction so that we can only express ourselves in superlatives and positive terms. Maybe I am just being a little neurotic but I do have a hint of a point, don't I? agree wholeheartedly. I cannot be the only one who can see the innocuous and insidious path we have slowly directed ourselves tow- All hail our benevolent liberator, the <##>@<#@>.

<google has corrected this post for the purposes of enlightening and entertaining said internet users on the behalf of our benevolent liberator, the <##>@<#@>. Please be well.>

Update: It turns out I can 'hack' the dictionary in google swipe. Just type in a misspelled word, click add to dictionary and then add the word you *really* want to add in place of this misspelling. Your move, Google.

Dystopia by definition

Dystopia is a word that's thrown around a lot lately. The word, by definition, means:

"A society characterized by human misery, as squalor, oppression, disease, and overcrowding."

Which brings me to this video that attempts to convey dystopia through many forms of media; multimedia if you will. I think this video is interesting (but not as interesting as their slow-motion flying dogs). I think they went for a far simpler definition of what dystopia was to them (mostly over-population) my personal view is that our society is nearing the zenith of what I see as dystopia. Already, far too many people know far too much about you simply through using their services; whether directly or indirectly.

I had an interesting experience recently:

I've recently been on the lookout for a new laptop over the last few weeks, I was surprised when I started receiving emails from Amazon about cool laptops that were on sale. Without prompting by me, they knew that I was a likely candidate for a new laptop and, therefore, they were proactive in ensuring that I knew all about their clunky low-res laptops (I'll refrain from getting on my soapbox this time) . A little scary, sure. And all of this came about because I had decided to browse a few laptops on their site while logged into their system. Apparently every website that utilises facebook integration automatically collects information about your browsing habits irrespective of whether you actually click or comment via their facebook integration. They collect information just by you going to that page (while remaining logged into facebook). Unless you choose not to be very social, they are guaranteed to know quite a bit about you (even if all they're able to trace is your unique IP address).

bonus points if you know what this is from :)

Scary, indeed, but that's the price you pay for living in the information age.

Censorship at its best

I read a harrowing article today which I believe could well be the precursor to the 'censorship' of every indie title on the internet.

The essence of this new legislation is that PayPal no longer allows payment to any erotic books about bestiality or incest. Considering my novel, and future novels, are not about tread into those topics, shouldn't allow me to let out a sigh of relief. The repercussions could be quite insidious because if they can censor one style of novel, why not mine? Why not any novel that isn't vetoed under a 'well-defined content policy' (or publishing house)? Insidious, indeed.

PayPal was apparently motivated by 'financial institutions' to enact on this policy. Well played 'financial institutions', well played. I guess I was naive enough to believe that the publishing houses would go the same way as the music industry when it came to a lack of foresight in predicting that their medium would go digital.

I think in the world of digital books I see little reason to involve a publisher. What exactly do they bring to the table? Distribution channels? I think I've got that covered. Marketing? Pshhh! Unless you're a New York Times Bestseller you're not going to get more than a token effort to market your novel. And that I can do ... and am improving day by day. I guess the only way that they can compete is by playing dirty.

I guess all is fair in war and business, but at least war has ethics. This war isn't over yet - blog and post - make sure this is not swept under the rug.

Indies Unite!

Interrogation for your benefit

Ah the rigmaroles of the US work visa application process.

All those convoluted and intrusive questions required just to have the privilege of being subjected to the TSA screenings upon your arrival into the land of opportunity. I cannot help but feel that it takes on a sort of sado-masochistic process wherein, by the end of it all, you look forward to your next punishment.

I can't believe bears like these exist ...

Please sir, give me another. <twhack> Another, please! <twhack> ... and so on.

Prior to being allowed 'the privilege' of being interrogated/questioned/lynched about my visa application, I needed to fill out a 30+ page application form covering everything from my mother's mother's first name to what countries I have travelled in the previous five years to what drugs or prostitution I partake in. To say it was thorough would be an understatement.

I'm not sure who is being benefited by this increased level of 'security' and I am pretty sure most of it is not warranted. Outside of big brother wanting to know every minutia of your existence I can't see the benefit. Where has the 'innocent until proven guilty' mantra disappeared to? We are all treated like terrorists until we either are proven to be a 'low-level threat' or are motivated by their exhaustive intrusions to rebel. I can almost empathise with those people from Guantanamo. No human should be subjected to this. All, of what could only be called crap, for a country that should be grateful for any injection of earnings or assistance to productivity in its plight to fix its ailing economy. I'm not sure whether it's arrogance or just a general distrust of anything that isn't American. All I know is I don't feel welcome.

UPDATE:
Now that I have an *official* work visa, there should be no reason to be pulled up by the TSA now, should there? No, would be the logical answer but the TSA is anything but logical.

Having an official visa embedded in your passport with your ugly mug displayed and being able to verify your legitimacy in their system is not enough, apparently; you also need to show your original Visa application as well - ah the wonders of progress. 

My dysfunctional hero

Mr Doug Stanhope: In my most coherent, eloquent, salient, antagonist-minded moment, I'd hope to be a tenth as capable as you.

He's a stand-up comedian, chronic drinker, drug user and a staunch believer in excess.  Or, as he calls it, excess in moderation.  He's also hilarious.

I find his mind amazing to follow.  He takes Zoloft and sleeping pills so he can sleep without his thoughts keeping him awake.  Sure, he's sensational (if you watch some of his stuff), but he is somehow able to twist this sensationalism in such a way that you can't help understanding his point.  He's like a current-day bene gesserit, able to use 'the voice' to sway your mind.

Even though the two of us don't appear very similar on the outside, I think we're almost the same.  His views are mine, his perspective is mine, his brain is mine.  The way we choose to handle the infliction caused by our thoughts is different, but the symptoms are the same.

Off topic ever so slightly:

Speaking of symptoms, watching TV in America is a depressing activity. I've seen this ad for a drug for depression called 'abilify' which, apart from hurting my brain at the double-speak-esque name, hurts my head in other ways.  This is an anti-depressant supplement. So if you are still depressed with your current anti-depressants, here's something that'll take you 'to eleven'.  But it's a small price to pay, as long as the symptoms are treated. Does anyone else see a problem with that previous sentence?


"Yeah you're fine - you got no symptoms!  You're great!  Now just repeat this treatment till you got no symptoms of life."


I'd like to think we're beyond the point of treating symptoms and actually looking at the cause, or is that being far too presumptuous? It then goes onto say that in some cases it can increase the chances of suicide, stroke, coma or death... I'm sorry.  Is this meant to help or just get you further along the path to your final demise?

Anyway, rant over - back to Doug.

I have a feeling that, despite his apparent excesses, he'll be another Keith Richards.  Where he, despite all probability, remains alive far beyond what should be clinically possible.  I think, ironically, he lives to spite himself.  It's a wonderful contradiction.

Here's a list of his 'cleaner' material:

Doug Stanhope on Media-generated Celebrity
Doug Stanhope on Fear in the US News Media
Doug Stanhope on Late Night US TV
Doug Stanhope on Saving the Planet

Anyway, Doug's an amazing comedian and he deserves at least a few minutes of your time.